An excerpt from my book, Can I Get Baptized in Fruit Punch?
My father-in-law told me a story once of someone who had a plastic nativity scene out in front of their house. One night someone stole the baby Jesus. Now I can understand stealing Santa Claus or maybe even a wise man, but this person had the gall to kidnap baby Jesus as He lay asleep in His manger.
Some time passed and the lady who had Jesus stolen from her gave up hope on finding Jesus. I mean, what do you do? You can’t put up posters around town as though your dog ran away. So this lady continued living her life business as usual.
Something happened with a children’s organization she was volunteering for and suddenly she was in need of a large sum of money really fast. She woke up one morning and found the baby Jesus had been returned. Soon thereafter she ran into more than the exact sum of money that she needed. Now she may have just thought that the two instances were coincidences except for the fact that the people that returned the baby Jesus left a note.
Apparently, the culprit’s car had broken down in front of this person’s house and they stole the baby Jesus. They then decided that the baby Jesus was lucky so they kept it in their house and worshipped it. In fact, the stolen baby Jesus had its own room in the house. Eventually though they started getting little baby Jesus guilty feelings and had to return the baby to its rightful owner. The note said that God told them that even though He was blessing them they wouldn't go to heaven as long as they didn't make the theft right.
As I think of this story I wonder how many people think of Jesus this way. How many people think that Jesus is just some superstitious good luck charm? Like Jesus is a troll doll during the Bingo game of life.
Showing posts with label christians are weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christians are weird. Show all posts
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I "hope" you read this post.
1 Thessalonians 5:8 "But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet"
You have heard it said in many sermons and by many Sunday School teachers to put on the helmet of salvation. But what does that really mean? I think this verse gives us a lot of insight as to what it means because it refers to our helmet of salvation as the "hope" of salvation.
Now what does “hope” mean. I hope the Rays win the World Series, I hope I don’t go completely bald before I am thirty, I hope a lot of things, but that does not have any sort of power in my life. So at first thought, if the helmet of salvation is also the hope of salvation does that mean that you stand in the middle of the battle field and “hope” that no one kills you… absolutely not!
The word hope here is the word “elpis” which means expectation and confidence. There is a difference between right now, in Spring Training, hoping that the Rays will win the World Series, but if they are in it and they have the closer in trying to get the last out with a twelve run lead, all of a sudden I have an “eplis” hope that is that at that point I expect them to win.
The helmet of salvation enables us to take the long (Eternal) view of the warfare. If we do not have it on, Satan can cause us to give up, quit, despair, and become discouraged by whispering words to us like, “You’re having to wait too long! This fight is lasting too long! This isn't working, you may as well quit.”
The helmet of salvation enables us to maintain total confidence in victory, no matter how long the battle may seem to last here on earth. We have a salvation that is certain and eternal! We cannot be ultimately defeated! There is absolutely no room for discouragement in light of the helmet of salvation!
I "hope" you understand that.
You have heard it said in many sermons and by many Sunday School teachers to put on the helmet of salvation. But what does that really mean? I think this verse gives us a lot of insight as to what it means because it refers to our helmet of salvation as the "hope" of salvation.
Now what does “hope” mean. I hope the Rays win the World Series, I hope I don’t go completely bald before I am thirty, I hope a lot of things, but that does not have any sort of power in my life. So at first thought, if the helmet of salvation is also the hope of salvation does that mean that you stand in the middle of the battle field and “hope” that no one kills you… absolutely not!
The word hope here is the word “elpis” which means expectation and confidence. There is a difference between right now, in Spring Training, hoping that the Rays will win the World Series, but if they are in it and they have the closer in trying to get the last out with a twelve run lead, all of a sudden I have an “eplis” hope that is that at that point I expect them to win.
The helmet of salvation enables us to take the long (Eternal) view of the warfare. If we do not have it on, Satan can cause us to give up, quit, despair, and become discouraged by whispering words to us like, “You’re having to wait too long! This fight is lasting too long! This isn't working, you may as well quit.”
The helmet of salvation enables us to maintain total confidence in victory, no matter how long the battle may seem to last here on earth. We have a salvation that is certain and eternal! We cannot be ultimately defeated! There is absolutely no room for discouragement in light of the helmet of salvation!
I "hope" you understand that.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sometimes Christians are weird.
Guys, I think if we were all honest with ourselves, we would agree that sometimes Christians are weird.
You know for a long time Christians differentiated themselves from the rest of the world by looking as “Christian” as possible. We had t-shirts that said things like “God’s Gym” and “Faith Book” instead of Facebook. We shopped at Christian bookstores, went to Christian movies and Christian concerts and, my personal favorite, even had our own brand of breathmint called a “Test-a-mint.”
And then we started this thing called a Christian bumper sticker. We put a fish on the back of our car that said Jesus, and then the atheists put legs on the fish and made it say Darwin, and then we got a big whale on the back of our car that ate the Darwin fish, and then the atheists came back with a dinosaur to eat the whale that was eating the Darwin fish. We had a huge battle going on through the bumpers of our cars. And then the Christians got real clever and tried to summarize their beliefs into small, ridiculous, possibly offensive sayings like “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” and “I Believe in the Big Bang, God spoke and bang it was.” So instead of trying to have legitimate conversations with people about what they believe and why they believe it, we shut off the conversation with our bumper sticker argument mentality. And I got to think that sometimes… Christians are weird.
I mean you can completely understand why the outside world would look at our subculture and think I am just not like those Christians and honestly, I don’t really want to be like those people either.
And then some of us actually try to engage the outside world in a conversation of what we believe. And the problem with this is that we have become so indoctrinated with key phrases that we don’t know how to adequately have a conversation with someone about what we believe without using our Christian clichés.
Let me give some examples of what I am talking about. Let’s suppose you are going to get your car fixed and the mechanic engages you in a spiritual conversation. What do you say?
Well some people would say “Mr. Mechanic listen to me because I am on fire for God.” Mr. Mechanic is thinking, “Why is God setting him on fire, is it one of those weird churches.”
And then he would say “My life has never been the same since I’ve been saved.” Mr. Mechanic is thinking, “I can understand that, nobody is try to set you on fire anymore.”
And then you give your best closing argument “Mr. Mechanic I just want you to know that I am a Wide-eyed, Sanctified, Blood Bought, Spirit Taught, Bible Totin', Scripture Quotin', Satan Bashin', Sin Trashin', Christ Followin', Pride Swallowin', Hard Prayin', Truth Conveyin', Faith Walkin', Gospel Talkin', Bonafide Big Time Believer who is washed in the blood of the lamb and I am proud of it!” And I am sorry to say but not only does Mr. Mechanic not know a thing that you just said, but he is making fun of you in his head and trust me he is not using words that go very well with the Christian subculture.
In closing, I understand your enthusiasm... I share it. But when dealing with the outside world... try not to be so weird :)
You know for a long time Christians differentiated themselves from the rest of the world by looking as “Christian” as possible. We had t-shirts that said things like “God’s Gym” and “Faith Book” instead of Facebook. We shopped at Christian bookstores, went to Christian movies and Christian concerts and, my personal favorite, even had our own brand of breathmint called a “Test-a-mint.”
And then we started this thing called a Christian bumper sticker. We put a fish on the back of our car that said Jesus, and then the atheists put legs on the fish and made it say Darwin, and then we got a big whale on the back of our car that ate the Darwin fish, and then the atheists came back with a dinosaur to eat the whale that was eating the Darwin fish. We had a huge battle going on through the bumpers of our cars. And then the Christians got real clever and tried to summarize their beliefs into small, ridiculous, possibly offensive sayings like “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” and “I Believe in the Big Bang, God spoke and bang it was.” So instead of trying to have legitimate conversations with people about what they believe and why they believe it, we shut off the conversation with our bumper sticker argument mentality. And I got to think that sometimes… Christians are weird.
I mean you can completely understand why the outside world would look at our subculture and think I am just not like those Christians and honestly, I don’t really want to be like those people either.
And then some of us actually try to engage the outside world in a conversation of what we believe. And the problem with this is that we have become so indoctrinated with key phrases that we don’t know how to adequately have a conversation with someone about what we believe without using our Christian clichés.
Let me give some examples of what I am talking about. Let’s suppose you are going to get your car fixed and the mechanic engages you in a spiritual conversation. What do you say?
Well some people would say “Mr. Mechanic listen to me because I am on fire for God.” Mr. Mechanic is thinking, “Why is God setting him on fire, is it one of those weird churches.”
And then he would say “My life has never been the same since I’ve been saved.” Mr. Mechanic is thinking, “I can understand that, nobody is try to set you on fire anymore.”
And then you give your best closing argument “Mr. Mechanic I just want you to know that I am a Wide-eyed, Sanctified, Blood Bought, Spirit Taught, Bible Totin', Scripture Quotin', Satan Bashin', Sin Trashin', Christ Followin', Pride Swallowin', Hard Prayin', Truth Conveyin', Faith Walkin', Gospel Talkin', Bonafide Big Time Believer who is washed in the blood of the lamb and I am proud of it!” And I am sorry to say but not only does Mr. Mechanic not know a thing that you just said, but he is making fun of you in his head and trust me he is not using words that go very well with the Christian subculture.
In closing, I understand your enthusiasm... I share it. But when dealing with the outside world... try not to be so weird :)
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